{"id":50730,"date":"2026-08-20T21:06:34","date_gmt":"2026-08-20T18:06:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/kilosorunum.com\/habercim\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/08\/776627930_1558300872688915_4947385064078707874_n-1.jpg"},"modified":"2026-08-20T21:08:42","modified_gmt":"2026-08-20T18:08:42","slug":"776627930_1558300872688915_4947385064078707874_n-2","status":"inherit","type":"attachment","link":"https:\/\/kilosorunum.com\/habercim\/foto-galeri\/hayatimin-askini-kaybettikten-iki-yil-sonra\/attachment\/776627930_1558300872688915_4947385064078707874_n-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Hayat\u0131m\u0131n a\u015fk\u0131n\u0131 kaybettikten iki y\u0131l sonra"},"author":2,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":[],"description":{"rendered":"<p class=\"attachment\"><a href='https:\/\/kilosorunum.com\/habercim\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/08\/776627930_1558300872688915_4947385064078707874_n-1.jpg'><img width=\"224\" height=\"300\" src=\"https:\/\/kilosorunum.com\/habercim\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/08\/776627930_1558300872688915_4947385064078707874_n-1-224x300.jpg\" class=\"attachment-medium size-medium\" alt=\"\" loading=\"lazy\" srcset=\"https:\/\/kilosorunum.com\/habercim\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/08\/776627930_1558300872688915_4947385064078707874_n-1-224x300.jpg 224w, https:\/\/kilosorunum.com\/habercim\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/08\/776627930_1558300872688915_4947385064078707874_n-1.jpg 764w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 224px) 100vw, 224px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n"},"caption":{"rendered":"<p>Kalbim h\u0131zla \u00e7arpmaya ba\u015flad\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNe ger\u00e7e\u011fi?\u201d diye f\u0131s\u0131ldad\u0131m.<\/p>\n<p>R\u0131za ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 e\u011fdi. Elleri titriyordu.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cKemal\u2019in \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcnden \u00f6nceki son telefon g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fmesini ben yapt\u0131m.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Bir an ne diyece\u011fimi bilemedim.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNe demek istiyorsun?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Derin bir nefes ald\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cO g\u00fcn onu ben \u00e7a\u011f\u0131rd\u0131m. Evime gelmesini istedim. Acil oldu\u011funu s\u00f6yledim.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Bo\u011faz\u0131m d\u00fc\u011f\u00fcmlendi.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYani o yola senin y\u00fcz\u00fcnden \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>R\u0131za\u2019n\u0131n g\u00f6zlerinden ya\u015flar s\u00fcz\u00fcld\u00fc.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cEvet. Ama hik\u00e2ye bununla bitmiyor.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Odan\u0131n i\u00e7indeki sessizlik a\u011f\u0131rla\u015ft\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cY\u0131llard\u0131r bunu kimseye anlatmad\u0131m. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc korkakt\u0131m. Kendimden nefret ettim ama s\u00f6yleyemedim.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Yata\u011f\u0131n yan\u0131ndaki \u00e7ekmeceye uzand\u0131 ve eski bir zarf \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBunu iki y\u0131ld\u0131r sakl\u0131yorum.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Zarf\u0131n i\u00e7inden katlanm\u0131\u015f bir mektup \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>Mektubun \u00fcst\u00fcnde Kemal\u2019in el yaz\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcnce nefesim kesildi.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBu da ne?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201c\u00d6lmeden \u00fc\u00e7 g\u00fcn \u00f6nce bana verdi.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Titreyen ellerimle mektubu a\u00e7t\u0131m.<\/p>\n<p>Kemal\u2019in yaz\u0131s\u0131 h\u00e2l\u00e2 ayn\u0131yd\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>Sevgili dostum,<\/p>\n<p>E\u011fer bir g\u00fcn bana bir \u015fey olursa, Nermin\u2019e onu ne kadar sevdi\u011fimi s\u00f6yle. Ama ona bir \u015feyi daha anlat.<\/p>\n<p>Senin ona y\u0131llard\u0131r \u00e2\u015f\u0131k oldu\u011funu biliyorum.<\/p>\n<p>Bu sat\u0131r\u0131 okudu\u011fumda g\u00f6zlerim b\u00fcy\u00fcd\u00fc.<\/p>\n<p>R\u0131za sessizce a\u011fl\u0131yordu.<\/p>\n<p>Mektubu okumaya devam ettim.<\/p>\n<p>Bunu bana hi\u00e7 s\u00f6ylemedin ama ben g\u00f6rd\u00fcm. Sana k\u0131zmad\u0131m. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc sen ger\u00e7ek bir dost oldun. Beni hi\u00e7bir zaman k\u0131skanmad\u0131n, aram\u0131za girmedin ve ailemi kendi ailen gibi korudun.<\/p>\n<p>E\u011fer ben gidersem ve y\u0131llar sonra ikiniz birlikte mutlu olabilecek duruma gelirseniz, sak\u0131n su\u00e7luluk duymay\u0131n.<\/p>\n<p>Hayat ya\u015fayanlar i\u00e7indir.<\/p>\n<p>Mektubu okurken g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131m sayfalar\u0131n \u00fczerine d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc.<\/p>\n<p>Ama akl\u0131m h\u00e2l\u00e2 tek bir noktaya tak\u0131lm\u0131\u015ft\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBana bunu neden \u015fimdi anlat\u0131yorsun?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>R\u0131za g\u00f6zlerini kapatt\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>\u201c\u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc o g\u00fcn seni kand\u0131rd\u0131m.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNas\u0131l?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cKazadan sonra polis bana Kemal\u2019in son arad\u0131\u011f\u0131 ki\u015finin ben oldu\u011fumu s\u00f6yledi. Sen y\u0131k\u0131lm\u0131\u015f durumdayd\u0131n. E\u011fer sana ger\u00e7e\u011fi s\u00f6yleseydim, beni su\u00e7layaca\u011f\u0131ndan korktum.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131 e\u011fdim.<\/p>\n<p>D\u00fcr\u00fcst olmak gerekirse, o g\u00fcn \u00f6\u011frenmi\u015f olsayd\u0131m ger\u00e7ekten onu su\u00e7layabilirdim<\/p>\n<p>\u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc ac\u0131 mant\u0131\u011f\u0131 susturur.<\/p>\n<p>R\u0131za devam etti.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSonra g\u00fcnler ge\u00e7ti. Haftalar ge\u00e7ti. Her ge\u00e7en g\u00fcn s\u00f6ylemek daha zor hale geldi. Ben sustuk\u00e7a su\u00e7lulu\u011fum b\u00fcy\u00fcd\u00fc.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u0130lk kez ona ger\u00e7ekten bakt\u0131m.<\/p>\n<p>Son iki y\u0131lda beni ayakta tutan adam\u0131n omuzlar\u0131nda ta\u015f\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131 y\u00fck\u00fc g\u00f6rd\u00fcm.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBir \u015fey daha var,\u201d dedi.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNe?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cKazaya sebep olan s\u00fcr\u00fcc\u00fc bulundu.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u015ea\u015fk\u0131nl\u0131kla do\u011fruldum.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNe?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cGe\u00e7en ay bulundu. Ba\u015fka bir \u015fehirde yakalanm\u0131\u015f. Polis bana haber verdi \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc y\u0131llar \u00f6nce dosyayla ilgili ifade vermi\u015ftim.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Bunu ilk kez duyuyordum.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cPeki neden bana s\u00f6ylemedin?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cD\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnden sonra s\u00f6ylemek istedim. Hayat\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n en mutlu g\u00fcn\u00fcn\u00fc mahvetmek istemedim.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>O an i\u00e7imde y\u0131llard\u0131r ta\u015f\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131m ba\u015fka bir y\u00fck\u00fcn de hafifledi\u011fini hissettim.<\/p>\n<p>\u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc iki y\u0131l boyunca bilinmeyen bir hayaletle ya\u015fam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m.<\/p>\n<p>Kim oldu\u011fu bilinmeyen bir adam.<\/p>\n<p>Cevaps\u0131z kalan sorular.<\/p>\n<p>Bitmeyen \u00f6fke.<\/p>\n<p>\u015eimdi ise ger\u00e7ek ortaya \u00e7\u0131km\u0131\u015ft\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>Uzun s\u00fcre konu\u015fmadan oturduk.<\/p>\n<p>Sonunda R\u0131za aya\u011fa kalkt\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBeni affetmeni beklemiyorum,\u201d dedi.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBelki bu evlilik burada biter. Ama art\u0131k yalan s\u00f6ylemek istemiyorum.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Kap\u0131ya do\u011fru y\u00fcr\u00fcmeye ba\u015flad\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>Tam \u00e7\u0131karken seslendim.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cR\u0131za.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Durdu.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBuraya gel.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Yava\u015f\u00e7a geri d\u00f6nd\u00fc.<\/p>\n<p>Elini tuttum.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSen Kemal\u2019i \u00f6ld\u00fcrmedin.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 sallad\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAma o yola benim \u00e7a\u011fr\u0131mla \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cE\u011fer o g\u00fcn markete gitseydi, doktora gitseydi ya da ba\u015fka bir arkada\u015f\u0131n\u0131 ziyaret etseydi yine ayn\u0131 s\u00fcr\u00fcc\u00fcyle kar\u015f\u0131la\u015fabilirdi.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Sessizce a\u011flamaya ba\u015flad\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>\u201c\u0130ki y\u0131ld\u0131r kendini cezaland\u0131r\u0131yorsun.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBelki hak ettim.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cElbette hatal\u0131s\u0131n. Bana ger\u00e7e\u011fi daha \u00f6nce s\u00f6ylemeliydin. Ama bazen insanlar k\u00f6t\u00fcl\u00fckten de\u011fil korkudan yanl\u0131\u015f yapar.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u0130lk kez g\u00f6zlerinde ger\u00e7ek bir rahatlama g\u00f6rd\u00fcm.<\/p>\n<p>O gece saatlerce konu\u015ftuk.<\/p>\n<p>Kemal\u2019i and\u0131k.<\/p>\n<p>Eski an\u0131lar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 payla\u015ft\u0131k.<\/p>\n<p>A\u011flad\u0131k.<\/p>\n<p>G\u00fcld\u00fck.<\/p>\n<p>Ve sonunda ge\u00e7mi\u015fin g\u00f6lgesinden \u00e7\u0131kmaya karar verdik.<\/p>\n<p>Ertesi sabah g\u00fcne\u015f do\u011farken verandada kahvelerimizi i\u00e7iyorduk.<\/p>\n<p>Bah\u00e7edeki papatyalar r\u00fczg\u00e2rda hafif\u00e7e sallan\u0131yordu.<\/p>\n<p>Kemal\u2019i d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm.<\/p>\n<p>Sonra mektubundaki son sat\u0131r\u0131 hat\u0131rlad\u0131m.<\/p>\n<p>Hayat ya\u015fayanlar i\u00e7indir.<\/p>\n<p>O an anlad\u0131m ki sevgi insan\u0131n kalbinde yer de\u011fi\u015ftirmez; geni\u015fler.<\/p>\n<p>Kemal\u2019i sevmeyi hi\u00e7 b\u0131rakmam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m.<\/p>\n<p>Ama bu, R\u0131za\u2019y\u0131 sevmeme engel de\u011fildi.<\/p>\n<p>Ge\u00e7mi\u015fimizi de\u011fi\u015ftiremezdik. Fakat gelece\u011fimizi nas\u0131l ya\u015fayaca\u011f\u0131m\u0131za karar verebilirdik.<\/p>\n<p>Ve y\u0131llar sonra ilk kez, su\u00e7lulukla de\u011fil umutla gelece\u011fe bak\u0131yordum.<\/p>\n"},"alt_text":"","media_type":"image","mime_type":"image\/jpeg","media_details":{"width":764,"height":1024,"file":"2026\/08\/776627930_1558300872688915_4947385064078707874_n-1.jpg","sizes":{"medium":{"file":"776627930_1558300872688915_4947385064078707874_n-1-224x300.jpg","width":224,"height":300,"mime_type":"image\/jpeg","source_url":"https:\/\/kilosorunum.com\/habercim\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/08\/776627930_1558300872688915_4947385064078707874_n-1-224x300.jpg"},"thumbnail":{"file":"776627930_1558300872688915_4947385064078707874_n-1-150x150.jpg","width":150,"height":150,"mime_type":"image\/jpeg","source_url":"https:\/\/kilosorunum.com\/habercim\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/08\/776627930_1558300872688915_4947385064078707874_n-1-150x150.jpg"},"kucukResim":{"file":"776627930_1558300872688915_4947385064078707874_n-1-80x50.jpg","width":80,"height":50,"mime_type":"image\/jpeg","source_url":"https:\/\/kilosorunum.com\/habercim\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/08\/776627930_1558300872688915_4947385064078707874_n-1-80x50.jpg"},"sliderResim":{"file":"776627930_1558300872688915_4947385064078707874_n-1-670x330.jpg","width":670,"height":330,"mime_type":"image\/jpeg","source_url":"https:\/\/kilosorunum.com\/habercim\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/08\/776627930_1558300872688915_4947385064078707874_n-1-670x330.jpg"},"resim1":{"file":"776627930_1558300872688915_4947385064078707874_n-1-184x140.jpg","width":184,"height":140,"mime_type":"image\/jpeg","source_url":"https:\/\/kilosorunum.com\/habercim\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/08\/776627930_1558300872688915_4947385064078707874_n-1-184x140.jpg"},"resim2":{"file":"776627930_1558300872688915_4947385064078707874_n-1-216x103.jpg","width":216,"height":103,"mime_type":"image\/jpeg","source_url":"https:\/\/kilosorunum.com\/habercim\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/08\/776627930_1558300872688915_4947385064078707874_n-1-216x103.jpg"},"resim3":{"file":"776627930_1558300872688915_4947385064078707874_n-1-145x70.jpg","width":145,"height":70,"mime_type":"image\/jpeg","source_url":"https:\/\/kilosorunum.com\/habercim\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/08\/776627930_1558300872688915_4947385064078707874_n-1-145x70.jpg"},"sagSlider":{"file":"776627930_1558300872688915_4947385064078707874_n-1-300x150.jpg","width":300,"height":150,"mime_type":"image\/jpeg","source_url":"https:\/\/kilosorunum.com\/habercim\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/08\/776627930_1558300872688915_4947385064078707874_n-1-300x150.jpg"},"yeniSlider":{"file":"776627930_1558300872688915_4947385064078707874_n-1-500x290.jpg","width":500,"height":290,"mime_type":"image\/jpeg","source_url":"https:\/\/kilosorunum.com\/habercim\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/08\/776627930_1558300872688915_4947385064078707874_n-1-500x290.jpg"},"full":{"file":"776627930_1558300872688915_4947385064078707874_n-1.jpg","width":764,"height":1024,"mime_type":"image\/jpeg","source_url":"https:\/\/kilosorunum.com\/habercim\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/08\/776627930_1558300872688915_4947385064078707874_n-1.jpg"}},"image_meta":{"aperture":"0","credit":"","camera":"","caption":"","created_timestamp":"0","copyright":"","focal_length":"0","iso":"0","shutter_speed":"0","title":"","orientation":"0","keywords":[]}},"post":50728,"source_url":"https:\/\/kilosorunum.com\/habercim\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/08\/776627930_1558300872688915_4947385064078707874_n-1.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kilosorunum.com\/habercim\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/50730"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kilosorunum.com\/habercim\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kilosorunum.com\/habercim\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/attachment"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kilosorunum.com\/habercim\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kilosorunum.com\/habercim\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=50730"}]}}